Loss, Grief, & Bereavement Counseling
Licensed in New York & New Jersey
Dr. Carni Has Been Featured In:
“There is sacredness in tears. They are not a mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition and unspeakable love.”
Beginning Your Bereavement Journey
Are you:
trying to reconcile griefs overwhelming sadness or uncertainty?
struggling to redefine your identity?
worrying about your security or future after losing a spouse, child, or parent?
With over 27 years of dedicated practice as a licensed psychologist, I have extensive experience working with patients to untangle, understand,and alleviate the profound impacts of grief and loss.
A Path Through Grief, Together
Losing a loved one can naturally be a traumatic experience. However, if you are dealing with complicated grief, recovery can be even more difficult.
Complicated Loss & Grief Can Be:
Guilt from feeling secretly relieved someone has passed after a long, chronic illness
A divorce, the revelation of infidelity, or a fracture at home and you wondering if you will ever be whole again
Self blame and “what-ifs” after the suicide of a partner or family member
Loneliness from surviving an event that claimed another’s life
When we lose someone we love or a relationship changes, it can create a hole that swallows up joy, hope, and even pain that you have a right to feel. Despite how ugly and dull life may seem, I can help you see through the darkness, find your inner strength, and process your grief so you can become whole once again.
Loss Is Part Of The Human Experience, But We Can’t Move On Without Closure
Grief and loss are aspects of life that truly make us equal. That is, almost everyone will encounter some sort of loss or bereavement at some point in their life. That transition will fundamentally alter how they see themselves and the world. In fact, according to the US Census Bureau, someone passes away every 12 seconds in the US alone, leaving behind multiple bereaved family members and friends.
Sadly, often our own culture—how we perceive and deal with death and bereavement—limits our ability to grieve properly.
For example, American societal influences have long portrayed vulnerability as weakness, inevitably robbing individuals of their right to acknowledge, value, and process their emotions. And although humans have been dealing with loss since the beginning of time, we are still no better at managing the pain and grief alone.
Sometimes, a loss is simply too great to process or a lack of closure makes it hard to move on.
For others, complicated grief can add another layer of wounding to the loss that can ultimately devolve into significant mental and physical health concerns if left unaddressed.
Psychotherapy & Counseling Helps With Grief and It’s Prolonged Effects
According to the Mayo Clinic, prolonged grief can eventually lead to or affect:
anxiety
depression
PTSD
alcohol/substance abuse
your ability to care for yourself
job or career
other surviving relationships
Fortunately, you do have support available that can help you navigate the sadness and uncertainty. With my help, you can come to terms with your loss and gain closure in a way that honors the memory of your loved one while enabling you to move forward with your life.
Psychotherapy provides a safe, neutral space where you can let your guard down and speak about your loss and your emotions candidly.
It offers a continuity of support, especially when family and friends have gone back to their lives or can no longer bear your pain. You have someone to confide in and lean on when you need it most. In time, I can help you find meaning in your life—and the life and death of your loved one—while helping you to move forward in peace.
My Grief Therapy Process
In our sessions, we’ll begin by gently discussing the nature of your loss:
Does it involve the loss of a relationship, a loved one, career, or plans for the future?
How is that affecting you on a daily basis?
And what challenges are you facing on your path to healing?
Next, we will determine if your grief is being complicated by other factors, such as: the experience of a previous loss or an estranged or co-dependent relationship with the person who has died.
Whatever your situation, my goal is to enable you to realize your inner-resilience and process your loss so you can begin enjoying life again free of guilt or pain.
No two people mourn alike. Therefore, I always take into account your unique grieving style, including the many cultural, religious, or spiritual factors that may come into play during the healing process. In the beginning, I may offer you healthy coping strategies to help you establish a sense of normalcy in daily life. I can also help you address unfinished business or things you didn’t get a chance to express to the one who has passed so you can find closure.
As you progress, I will help you process and walk through your sorrow until you find peace. I will support you in adjusting to your new reality, rethinking your future, and adopting a new sense of identity that gives you purpose and meaning.
I understand that there is a void in you right now that can’t possibly be filled, but your pain doesn’t have to last forever. You do have the power to heal, and I can help you find new meaning in life as well as the courage to invest yourself in new relationships and adventures.
With my help, you can grieve and honor your loss while learning to create a life that is at peace with your conscience and in accordance with what you truly want.
ABOUT DR. ELLEN CARNI
With over 27 years of dedicated practice, I have extensive experience working to untangle, understand, and alleviate the impact of grief and loss.
My clients range from young adults to seasoned professionals, each bringing their unique story into the therapy room.
Client diversity has honed my skill in tailoring therapy to fit the needs of each client, whether they're mourning the loss of a loved one, rebuilding a life, or navigating complex emotions that accompany significant loss.
Together, we will delve into foundational experiences to unearth their lasting influence on your life.
Credentials, Licenses, and Trainings:
Postdoctoral Program in Psychoanalysis and Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy, New York University
PhD, City University of New York
MA & BA, Columbia University
Certified in EMDR from the EMDR Institute
I am considering grief and loss counseling, however, I still have some concerns…
I’m not sure I am ready to start talking about it.
Our sessions will be focused on talking about the issues that you want to explore, so I will never be pushy or overbearing. If you’d like, we can discuss your grieving style, other losses, or what barriers you may be putting up and why. We can celebrate the joy that your loved one represented or talk about how you handle stress in general.
There are so many ways to grieve without it being emotionally painful. And although we cannot replace the ones we love, we can honor their memory by doing our best to find new life, friends, and opportunities for happiness.
I’m worried about the financial cost of grief therapy.
If you are suffering and unable to change your situation, psychotherapy can be a profound investment in your overall well-being. When you are consumed by grief, it can erode relationships, productivity at work, and even your physical health.
Liberating yourself from unnecessary blame or guilt allows you to realize a future of hope and new possibilities.
And though it will require a financial investment, psychotherapy will not last forever, but the skills and insight I offer will.
How long will I be in grief counseling?
Grieving is an intimate process that differs for everyone, whether in style or duration. Some individuals with prolonged grief may require more time to untangle their emotions than others. Regardless of your situation, psychotherapy is about helping you work through the pain at your own pace, in your own way.
Together, we can get through this, and in time, you can begin feeling whole again and live with a renewed sense of self and direction.
You Can Find Peace And Acceptance
If you are having trouble finding closure or grieving someone or something you lost, I can help.